Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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