i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
