was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
