Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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