That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
