States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
