Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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