The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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