i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
