whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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