I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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