Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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