I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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