We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
