Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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