need another drink. this is the easiest way
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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