my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
