Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
