She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
