We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Are my feet made of real feet?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the liver wants what the liver wants
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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