just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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