yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
