i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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