I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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