My brain says no but my pants say off.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
