Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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