I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
