How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Terrible idea I love it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
