Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
