office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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