Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
