That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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