I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
