it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
