She said her name was "party"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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