wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize