I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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