I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had sex on a roof
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
