You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
