sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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