Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
