The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
