I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
