I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
