is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how drunk are you?
Several
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
