i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Porn is love you can see.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
