You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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