they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
