So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
