I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
