Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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