So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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