More tranny stories later!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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