wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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