wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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