it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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