I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
