So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
where are my eyebrows?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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