I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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